In July 2022, I completed my BPharm at USM and embarked on my postgraduate journey under the guidance of my final year project (FYP) supervisor, Dr. Goh.
I can still vividly recall the moment when I was enjoying high tea with my mother at a classy cafe and received a text from him regarding the possibility of pursuing further studies. Despite having multiple job offers with good pay from both local and multinational pharmaceutical companies, I confirmed my decision to continue my study and promptly replied to him. Achieving a doctorate has always been on my life's bucket list, even though I wasn't entirely sure about the path it would entail.
Returning to Penang on August 10, 2022, felt like coming back to the very island that had nurtured me into a prospective pharmacist, and perhaps now, a future PhD candidate. Back then, I had naively believed that postgraduate studies would be somewhat akin to an extended version of my FYP journey. However, reflecting upon the present, I must acknowledge that the reality has proven to be quite different.
Engaged in an ongoing project under my supervisor's guidance, I am currently immersed in clinical trials that involve close collaboration with another project partner, Yoga. Our focus is to examine the effects of tocotrienol-rich fraction on fine wrinkles and acne-prone skin. During my undergraduate years, I gained a brief understanding of clinical trials, including the 4 differents phases, inclusion and exclusion criteria, etc. However, when faced with the practical implementation, I realised that reality takes a divergent path, significantly so. In order to conduct these clinical trials, my partner and I underwent a series of essential steps within a span of just three months. This encompassed taking the Good Clinical Practice (GCP) exam, participating in training sessions covering protocols, explanation of consent forms to subjects, training for probe measurements, and the intricacies of document preparation and management. Looking back, the process was undeniably demanding, especially as I concurrently managed both my research work and the active clinical trial, a situation that persists to this day.
In pursuit of a scholarship and potential bonuses to facilitate my fast-track PhD journey, my supervisor turned to the idea of journal publications. This process of drafting a manuscript began with delving into data analysis that bore relevance to my prior FYP works. However, unforeseen challenges surfaced, causing the trajectory of the data set to falter. Moving into the late months of November and December in 2022, I found myself aiding in the curation and validation of data for my senior' s research, intended for journal publication. Regrettably, despite investing two months of effort, the manuscript was met with rejection twice, attributed to technical complications. Presently, my focus has shifted to working with a new data set, one that I presented in a recent symposium I particiapted in, yet it remains largely unfamiliar to me.
Proud me with my poster (version 7th after multiple corrections and fine tuning)
Me sharing my poster with my peers
The recent participation in the symposium has brought to my attention the vastness and expansiveness of the research and academia landscape. It struck me profoundly that within this realm, everyone is pursuing diverse avenues of exploration in science. During the event, I had the opportunity to connect with some of my peers who are delving into very different research areas from mine, such as medical physics on nanorods for breast cancer treatment, anticancer drug extracted from oster mushroom etc and also to moderate a forum discussion which the organiser brought panelists from the field of academia, industry and community. The array of captivating research endeavors and insightful discussions has prompted me to contemplate my ongoing work and the questions it encompasses.
"What I am doing with my current research work?"
"Will my research work benefit to the public or applicable in the industry?
"Am I filling the research gap?
"How deep or how far I should go with the research topic?"
All these questions inundated my mind and the imposter syndrome intensifited as I encounted these giants in their respective fields.
But then, one thought came to me,
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? ..."
As an Aquarius ENTJ (I'm a firm believer in horoscopes and MBTI), the imposter syndrome doesn't stick around for too long. Honestly, I believe giants earn their stature through years of experience. If given the same opportunities, I'm confident that with hardwork and effort (and maybe with a touch of luck), everyone could attain the same or even better.
It's the third day of the week, and I've already accomplished my KPIs for the clinical trial subject visits, all while managing to put together my research Gantt chart for this week. Let keep this vibe on while enjoying the fun of research life (of course some personal life as well).
Ps: Still procrastinating to write another blog for the symposium organisation and some sharings about my labmates.
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